Friday, July 24, 2009


it was a overcast evening n i was walkin back home from work in a darkly lit alley.
i saw a shady person tryin to search somethin on the road, by the roadside light. i took a better look and realised this guy is known to me.
outta sheer curiosity, "hey, whatchya doing?"
him-"i 'm tryin to find something"
me- " what are you looking for?"
him- " i slipped and fell.. n lost my keys"
tryin to help, i started lookin too.
n then i asked, " where did you slip??"
he pointed to a place farther off, in the pitch dark part of the road.
so i said," then why are you lookin for it here?"
said he.." its easier to look for it down here."
people start looking for solution where they fell, instead of lookin where they slipped.
its looking for the solution in the wrong places.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

stupid monkeys, and men

heres an experiment i read in ganong physiology.
surgically an electrode is implanted in the pleasure centre of the limbic system in monkeys brain. it is connected to a lever which the monkey can manipulate to generate pleasureable impulses. the monkey is then caged n observed.
initially, the monkey experiments with the lever tikk eventually, he discovers how to please himself.
as he learns, he begins to manipulate the lever more often, to get more pleasure.
once he's familiar with the technique, the lever takes over his activities.. and he gives up food, water and sleep, continually pressin the lever.. even if it ultimately leads to his death.
in common parlance, we call this phenomenon addiction

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


this weekend i heard a wise man say " one way to ensure being successful is to copy someone who is successful". frankly, to me, it sounds somewhat cheap.
but then, in retrospect, its a simple solution.. whenever faced with a situation of a difficult choice, guess this way i can look at the problem objectively.but then this is at the cost of orignality.. like me losing out a first hand version of myself while tryin to be a second hand version of someone else.
but then this doesnt make sense either, cuz..
1. life throws each of us in unique circumstances, which are never the same as anyone else's. and 2. we ourselves are so damn unique combination of various ingredients, that we are orignal in ourselves. projection can only alter my perception, n not my true self.
so,i figure, this probably is an advice to only steer away from the state of bein depraved. when focussed, your own momentum is enough to help you decide in life.
and then i had another brainwave, always think of two people instead..i.e. also think of what the man you hate/disapprove or despise would do. cuz sometimes, i myself might be doing things that i'd despise in third person.

Monday, July 20, 2009

new york

for anyone who cares for a free opinion- watch new york.
the first time i saw it in a good cinema hall, i loved the plot, the screenplay, the cast, acting and music.
and then i did a rare stunt, i saw the same movie for a second time, again in a theatre, in the same week.
i had done the same thing with sarfarosh.. the aamir movie. believe me, the only reason i sat through the whole movie second time was my date;)
but new york was an amazing experience when i saw it the second time. i appreciated the international look of the movie better. its made to cater to a global audience. the movie is incredibly well paced, so much so that i didnt have a momment of boredom throughout.
because i was no longer wonderin "what happens next?".. i relished finer points.. like irfans awesome dialogue delivery and voice modulation that makes casting him in a powerful role so effective. when you see it the first time, you almost ignore him. your too occupied with th lead actors and the story. he comes in, does his job well, n steps out. as you'd want a side-actor in important role to be. when you see it the second time.. you realise the skill and perfection he has put in to get his role done. kudos irfan.
another nice part about the movie is the story and direction, how small little pieces get threaded together into the plot that keep the movie going. eg. katrinas driver speeding, killin the white cop, commiting suicide- helps you see the protagonists point of view against the system. but incidentally irfan khan turnin at the crime scene and katrina noticing his presence and then seein neil mukesh with him.. leads to the story progress further, albiet at slightly slow pace.
i'm still not comfortable with th ending, but i cant point out why. i love tragedies per se. but the ending somehow didnt fit in. the director does his job by justifying the end.. the son of a terrorist living a normal life with no strings attached. but its paradoxical, considering what was done to his father..who was forced to deviate from his goals n ways of life.
with all said n done, my bottomline is even more tragic.when i finally finished watching th movie the second time.. a thought came to my mind and its been puzzling me ever since..
this movie is almost too good to be an orignal bollywood movie. i wonder which english flick they copied it from? no kidding.

Sunday, July 19, 2009


on a rainy weekend afternoon, i was sittin by this coffee shop by the road, with a lazed thoughtless mind.. and i noticed a beggar havin his cuppa on the pavement.. and an artist havin his.. on the table next to me. n i wondered what their lives must be like.
a beggar, emotionlessly, egolessly pickin up everythin that comes his way.. crushed under the wheels of the commerce of this world.. makin ends meet bit by bit.. penny by penny.

an artist, driven only by passion of beauty, emotions, colors and expression, almost beyond the realm of give and take, beyond the shackles of commerce.
or so it seems.
to perceive and paint the beauty of, for instance, that unique sunset,
the candid play of vibrant colors in the sky,the unusual shapes of the clouds, the flurry of colorful birds returning to their nests, the play of light on mountains and tree tops, the silhouttes of his lovers hand entwined in his.. with wind blowin through their hair..experiencing the ecstacy of that 'perfect sunset'.
strong emotions, romantic memmories, observations, conviction, imagination, tedious labour and talent go into the making of that one single painting, scuplture or a work of art.
the masterpiece.
and then its time to sell it...the artist explaining to his buyer at what he saw, how he felt while he painted it; trying in vain to make the buyer see what he sees in the painting.
after a great deal of difficult conversation, haggling and bargaining, this painting is 'SOLD' and then

proudly adorns the living room of the prosperous industrailist.
it proves his ability to spend, and of knowing 'a wise investment' when he sees one.

and then suddenly, even the life of the beggar seems tolerable.


as usual,
my job is of corelation,not composition..
methinks th foll rhyme was made in relevance to reservations..

gandhi the visionary

gandhi mustta been a man of great learning and foresight, and i truly appreciate his vision.
in 1942, he said, quit india.
still holds true.
poverty, corruption, reservations, communalism and dirty politics.
hence the truth. quit india man.

satyameva jayete

the untold love story

those were th adenturous days of youth, days when i was a fresher in college...

days of strength n independence, days when i'd never believe, i would fall for, or grow dependent on, someone. or something.
and then i met her.
clad in exquisite white, she was hanging out with my seniors. i cant say i had not seen her before, but it was NOW that i got attracted,
attracted STRONGLY,
by her her style! i was smitten!
call it my luck, my senior noticed the look in my eyes. he introduced us.
n then began, in rosy haze of youth, a whirlwind courtship.
some said i was besotted. .or bewitched.
but no one knew, i 'd fallen forever, then n there.
sometimes i'd show off her company, although knowing within it'd be adjudged bad company by our self righteous society..
n sometimes steal chances to be alone with her..between lectures, behind th canteen, or at th movies..
not even exams could keep us apart. i'd call it a break from studies, a refreshment, a reward.. however i rationalised, i couldnt help myself! somethin had changed in me.probably i'd crossed a line which i could never "uncross" again.
still remember the awe on faces of some, and the glaring disapproval about her on some. always a rebel, i ignored em. but i kept telling myself that we'd part after college, n she'd be history.
but i never let go.
couldnt let go in those frustrating days of job hunting, days spent doing odd jobs n days of self doubt. money was hard to come by, and so was peace of mind.
but she was always there; when i needed her in my solitude, to help me think, to help me plan my life, to help me dream.
but i never told my mom bout her, or any other elders.
there wasnt any point. it was certain they'd disapprove of her.
so i never discussed, and they never asked. n time moved on.i got my job, n began the slow climb up the corporate ladder.
and then, one day, mom asked me to get married. mom said this pretty, well educated and homely daughter of mr. very-rich was willing, and so was i. i got married.
however i still didnt stop seeing her. behind th wife's back...
at odd times n odd places..
we kept meeting.
she was just there when i needed her.
something this intense, n this old doesnt stay concealed. the wife found out!
she broke down, threw tantrums, cried like a baby.. made me feel as guilty as shit.
but i just couldnt let go.
finally the wife gave up. rather, she came to terms with something that had come in my life
before her.
eventually, with matrimony ensued children. but my affair wont die out either, not even when i had kids of my own
my mistress was my obsession now, she was now my lifestyle: my personality. she was ME. rather, i was becoming hers, nothing but hers.
in my victories, in my defeats,
in my celebrations, and in mournings,
in silence and noise,
or in solitude and crowd,
if there was one constant... it was her.
and why not? she was there, always by me.
sometimes my wife caught us in my own house, and verbal rapes ensued.
sometimes my kids saw me with her, and shot innocent questioning glances.
but mostly i was a responsible dad..
and i never realised... never knew WHEN i went overboard.
till i had a white letter in my mail.
a white letter that said i had cancer, a cancer beyond cure.
they said it was cuz of her.

think you know her name.
they call her a 'CIGARETTE'

the devils advocate

what is th best combination of the following qualities..
1. physical prowess.
2. supreme intelligence
3. killer instinct.
4. strong commitment to self and a disregard for authority.
5. love for leading life on the edge.
6. risking all you have on the line for the thrill and the profit, and keeping winning at it.
sort of the best stuff human race has to offer..?
a single broad category that fits is criminals.. con artists, pirates, mercenaries, robbers, mobsters, murderers.
n now, for sake of experiment,
isolate these guys, breed these guys amongst themselves for some generations. distill the antisocial element away through civilisation. what do you get?

aggressive, strong, team players, perfectionists.
australia was for long a penal colony where criminals were sent into.. sort of saza-e-kala-pani. even papillon and shantaram were so.
andnow, think of any th aussie team definitely has a niche. th defence rests

men and women

we often wonder about how different a man is to a woman.. psychologically, behaviourally.. n not just physically.. altho both are forms of same species.
n then i heard in a sitcom..
women want everything in ONE man.
men want one thing from EVERY
but then, th explanation revolves around..
1. leader of th pack instinct in men
2. maternal. sortta familial instinct in women
3.women producing a single emissary to next generation, the ovum, over 28 days.precious
4. men producing 300 million of those every day. aplenty.

psychology can be so basic. just have to keep eyes open.

unsung heroes

what IF you dont get credit for what you do?
what IF your skill is appreciated but unrewarded?
what IF you know your right,BUT by hindsight, and dont have textbook references to say so?
'm just

openin my eyes in orthopedics. but i realise already, this is the bitter element of it. so many of accomplished surgeons today have that secret hero behind them, the jadugars with their life in that secret popat.....
their incredible, and unqualified ASSISTANT.


back in 2006, i'd deserted this site in favor of yahoo. primary reason being it tied my messenger n blog together. bad decision. i blog 'moodily' not regularly. but i blog. n now yahoo tells me its shuttin off 360, like they are cramped for freakin cyberspace. they did the same to yahoo photos. ridiculous. okay they lemme host for free.but apparently i generate traffic in readin this is evidence enough.fair deal. well 'm glad my blogs didnt exactly evaporate in cyberspace, they let me save back. n thus bottomline is, i moved.

'm back.