Tuesday, September 13, 2011

TIPsy turvy~

what was the biggest tip you ever tipped?
n what was the occaision?
passing MBBS? passin Post Graduation? proposing your GF? gettin a dream job?
n how stupid did it really make you feel later?
'm not your regular spendthrift, nor am i a very generous guy. and i've practically set a personal record for tipping!
howzzat? u'd say.. :D
and how in hell did I LET THAT HAPPEN?
last friday, i was scrubbed in a particularly difficult Total hip replacement, some guy wit coxa vara, AVN and a femoral nail implanted 40 years ago.. removal of that implant was attempted thrice outside,without success.. and without the nail coming out, THR was almost impossible.
it could have fell on the head of any of the other registrars, but as luck would have it, the axe fell on my neck. and frankly, not just the surgeons (my boss and his team of "talented" registrars), but even the patient knew that the case could go wrong in a hundred different ways.
BUT, suprisingly, the case went on ridiculously well, and we had all the bases covered. probably thats why,the case took under 90 minutes.. and this was fast even for a routine THR.. nevermind a complicated one. so when, at nightfall, the boss asked us to join him for dinner at a local bar, we werent really surprised.
this local bar, called "black bush -the blackout bar" is really the terrace of a hotel with darkness as its theme. the chair, the tables, even the cutlery n the livery is black. you even have to read the menu with a torch. the only lights are at the bar counter and the walls, and even those are subdued. the service, the ambience and the food is pretty much okay, so its the place we guys always go to.
before leaving hostel.. i picked up two 500 rupee notes, green gandhis as i call em.. to join the usual red gandhi who likes to live in my wallet.
now dining with your boss is a double edged sword. you never know what lands you in trouble. and frankly, i am pretty much like a tail-ender who is forced to bat at no.3..in such informally formal parties... so when after too many rehearsed jokes and diplomatically placed innuendos the bill finally arrived, i practically jumped at it.. to express my 'immense gratitude' for being given the 'privilege' of this dinner.
and as is the custom, the boss kept insisting he'll pay. and thats not unusual.
but then, suddenly he popped out a 1000 rupee note n laid it bare on the table. "no negotiations" he said. and THAT is, ofcourse, unusual.
after much histrionic haggling, we were allowed to pay the rest. like a james bond gambling in casino royale, i snuck in a peek at the bill, a ugly 1580 plus, slid a 500 n a 100 rupee note, n sent the bill-guy away.. smiling deep inside.. cuz i knew that my two friends'd contribute.. so it was gonna be jus 200 per se.. yay, yay, yay!
no point in waiting for change, i said.. n we pushed off, all happy n contended.
the only good part about long day and large meals is .. you hit the bed, and then you realise that the funny sound ringin in your head is really your wake up alarm goin off..
and so, i woke up, n headed back to work.. stopping for tea. and then.. when i was trying to hunt for change in my overloaded wallet..
(dont get me wrong, my wallet is basically a closet for all papers that can be somehow be persuaded to fit in)..
i saw TWO green gandhijis smiling at me. i was about to wave back to em happily..
when i realised..
the only red bald man i can openly declare i love is obviously absconding.
i'd given away 2100 for the bill and not collected the goddamned change!
and thats how..
a regular dombivilikar who feels at home in overloaded locals, buys brands but only at end of season sales, and thinks mc donalds burgers are glorified vadapavs, who wears levis 501 on disposable fashion street t shirts..
gave a waiter a tip he wont even give to himself:P